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"I work really hard at winning arguments I don't care about."
"You Can't Make Me Happy, You Are Not a Cheeseburger."
"In the Land of the Stupid the Slightly Less Stupid is Boss."
"I recommend you drink your coffee in a place where there are no humans."
"You're never going to make everyone happy so just worry about me."
"I need a lot of coffee and as much silence as possible."
"I give the silent treatment to people who don't want to talk to me."
"Suppressing all this rage is exhausting."
"Runaway trains don't make U turns."
"I was born to be bewildered."
"You are weird and perplexing. You are probably my soulmate."
"You are so strange, I'm intrigued."
"Instead of crazy I prefer the term emotionally extravagant."
"There is no such thing as "too much cheese"."
"I'm so stressed about being stressed about stress."
"I have the confidence of a much more talented person."
"I don't run from my problems, I date them."
"You can't make me happy, you are not ice cream."
"I'm sorry I laughed when you were trying to be intimidating."
"Some of you are in pain. I can hear it in your texts."
"The whole rise and shine thing can go to hell."
"I have been deemed unfit for human contact."
"Think a little deeper and love a little harder."
"You do it your way, I'll do it the correct way."
"I always make sure to say "no offense" right before I offend someone."
"Don't ask me for advice, I think smoking weed fixes everything."
"If I haven't unfollowed you, please be patient."
"Profanity is a must, especially if you can be creative."
"Hold doors open for people, you piece of sh#t."
"Overthinking about overthinking."
"If anyone has made me into a voodoo doll please put that thing on an exercise bike."
"People who bitch a lot tend to get very little done."
"I wonder what sober people do for fun."
"My mind is sick AF. Please do not enter."
"The thing about people is, they're dumb."
"I can handle a lot of sh#t, I just don't want to."
"I would eat more vegetables if they tasted like pizza."
"If you're gonna leave me rude comments online, at least be smart or funny."
"Words have power, use them wisely."
"I blocked you, so basically you don't exist anymore."
"Thinking before you speak has become somewhat of a lost art."
"If you ask me about something I can give you my regular opinion or my jaded intellectual opinion."
"For such a small person I have an awfully big attitude."
"Make burritos, not war."
"Learn the difference between patience and wasting your time."
"I can forgive but if I tell you that I have forgotten I'm lying."
"You can be funny without being mean, I can't, but that's what they say."
"Sorry I blocked you but your posts brought out too many emotions, mostly revulsion and pity, but..."
"I give way too many f#cks, it makes me insane."
"My bitterness just happens naturally, like breathing."
"Seizing the day sounds exhausting."
"I came to kick ass and eat tacos and I'm too tired to kick ass."
"It may seem like I am sitting here quietly, but I am plotting like a mutherf#cker."
"People fear what they do not understand, for me it's quantum physics."
"Thanking me for my patience, makes me unpatient."
"If someone says "Don't take this personally", you probably should."
"Someone please hate everyone and everything for me today. I'm tired."
"I will pummel you with my charm." Spiral Notebook
"I'm not sure where I stand so I'm just going to lie down."
"People get angry at me because I don't smile enough."
"There are two types of people. People who like nachos and people who are dumb."
"I don't trust people who only listen to one kind of music."
"I totally agree with you but you can f#ck off though."
"I will give you some really solid advice, and not follow any of it myself."
"If giving a sh#t is wrong, I've never been wrong."
"I am working on perfecting my mediocrity."
"I don't believe in you snooze you lose, every nap is a victory."
"Try minding your own business, that sh#t is marvelous."
"I'm broke but never too broke for weed." Spiral Notebook
"It's easier to not say something stupid if you don't say much." Spiral Notebook
"I'm magic mutherf#cker, don't forget it." Spiral Notebook
"Have some confidence, you dipsh#t."
"Insanity is when you think you're normal."
"I've been doing this cool thing lately called minding my own business."
"Just want nachos and peace of mind."
"I have to quit being so damn lovable." Spiral Notebook
"I won't steal your weed, but I might steal your soul." Spiral Notebook
"I make typos on purpose just to piss off the perfectionissts."
"Ordering pizza at 10am. If you're not with me, then you're against me."
"Your positivity is so annoying." Spiral Notebook
"Try minding your own business, that sh#t is marvelous."
"I believe your lies because when you tell the truth it's boring as sh#t."
"I've been drinking too much, so today I am going to overeat instead." Spiral Notebook
"I'm starting to think that I'm the problem, yeah right, f#ck that." Spiral Notebook
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"Not even a little of my sh#t is together." Spiral Notebook
"Your contempt for me is intoxicating." Spiral Notebook
"I'm not for everyone. Only the cool people." Spiral Notebook
"A wise man once said, nothing, ever." Spiral Notebook
"So much dumb out there. Be safe, f#ckers." Spiral Notebook
"I got a booty call from my beanbag chair last night." Spiral Notebook
"Are some of you seriously this dumb? Or are you just pretending?" Spiral Notebook
"Do people that go out and do things know about sofas?" Spiral Notebook
"I smell like cigarettes and disappointment." Spiral Notebook
"Pretending to be busy is hard work." Spiral Notebook
"Please don't judge me based on my napkin usage." Spiral Notebook
"The word f#ck is like hot sauce, it goes with everything." Spiral Notebook
"I don't know how, but I worry and don't give a sh#t at the same time." Spiral Notebook
"Let's not ruin things by getting to know each other." Spiral Notebook
"I'm not sure where I stand, so I'm just going to lie down." Spiral Notebook
"It's getting harder and harder to tell the sober people from the drunk people." Spiral Notebook
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tshirts new 2
"You can reply "damn" to almost anything on the internet and it fits." Tote Bag
"I'm like 60% bitterness and 40% also bitterness." Tote Bag
"Many things are very simple, just difficult." Tote Bag
"It's adorable how you think you're smarter than me." Tote Bag
"I use the saying "it is what it is" a lot, but I don't ever know what it actually is." Tote Bag
"I have my reasons for being so unreasonable." Tote Bag
"I have an allergy to all things stupid." Tote Bag
"I'm not a psychiatrist but I have secretly diagnosed all of you." Tote Bag
"The only thing better then a taco is two tacos, maybe three." Tote Bag
"Not everyone thinks I'm brilliant and gorgeous. That's OK. They're wrong though." Tote Bag
"Through caffeine all things are possible." Tote Bag
"If someone offers you a breath mint, take it." Tote Bag
"Don't block people, mute them like a mature person." Tote Bag
"I waste irony all day on idiots." Tote Bag
"What did all the creepy people do before the internet?" Tote Bag
"I should take it down a notch, no one is this awesome." Tote Bag
"My favorite people are french fries." Tote Bag
"If you drink every day you might be an alcoholic. I only drink at night though." Tote Bag
"My best and worst trait is that I don't give up." Tote Bag
"I think if I wasn't so out of shape, I'd make an awesome samurai." Tote Bag
"People love truth and honesty, of course unless it's about them." Tote Bag
"People who take sh#t way too seriously please just stay the f#ck away from my sense of humor, thank you." Tote Bag
"If you ever have to wonder if it was all bullsh#t, it was." Tote Bag
"Always be true to yourself, except on the internet obviously." Tote Bag
"If you don't like chocolate I don't trust you." Tote Bag
"I have to see it to believe it and even then I'm skeptical." Tote Bag
"I don't have running shoes, I have donut getting shoes." Tote Bag
"I think reality is a nice place to visit. But I don't want to live there." Tote Bag
"I woke up this morning ready to take a nap." Tote Bag
"Everything is totally weird but that is normal." Tote Bag
"Cheesecake for dinner, nuff said." Tote Bag
"People get so angry when you start throwing facts at them." Tote Bag
"You don't understand me and I am happy about that." Tote Bag
"Today is a great day to start thinking for yourself." Tote Bag
"I wonder how different my life would be if I wasn't such a dork." Tote Bag
"Sometimes you have to put the music in loud, and not give a f#ck about the world for a bit." Tote Bag
"I always take people at their word. It is my biggest weakness." Tote Bag
"I think the voices in my head are getting bored with me." Tote Bag
"I'm trying to make sense of all my foolishness. It's not going well." Tote Bag
"Social media didn't change me one bit. I was a dumb sh#t before I got there." Tote Bag
"I gave a f#ck, until I didn't. Then things got easier." Tote Bag
"Pizza doesn't ask dumb questions, pizza understands." Tote Bag
"Somethings that I have said sounded much better in my head." Tote Bag
"It's hard to hold a grudge if you're holding a taco." Tote Bag
"Telling me to not do something is the best way to get me to do exactly that." Tote Bag
"I just go online for the dopamine." Tote Bag
"I'd be so hot if I just gave a little more effort." Tote Bag
"It's all fun and games until someone starts crying snot bubble and drooling." Tote Bag
"You're really nice and I like you, but I'm already stalking someone." Tote Bag
"All your inspirational quotes are f#cking up my dark mood." Tote Bag
"I am f#cking awesome, that is all." Tote Bag
"Even my imagined situations are boring." Tote Bag
"I might have a bad attitude." Tote Bag
"Sorry for the things I said when I was being honest." Tote Bag
"My suggestion would be to stop talking to yourself about you." Tote Bag
"If I tell you to have a nice day I'm basically telling you to go f#ck yourself." Tote Bag
"Most of my fantasies involve cheese." Tote Bag
"That's disgusting, tell me more." Tote Bag
"I wonder how the me in a parallel universe is doing." Tote Bag
"You don't have to hide your insanity around me." Tote Bag
"Not making sense does not stop me." Tote Bag
"Want a stupid answer? Ask a stupid person." Tote Bag
"Instead of a selfie send me a meatball sandwich." Tote Bag
"Sometimes people are quiet because they need to be. Let them." Tote Bag
"It is very exhausting having a booty that doesn't quit." Tote Bag
"I'm not who you think I am, I'm more than you can imagine." Tote Bag
"Do not walk away from negative people, run." Tote Bag
"I need an exorcism, but for my sh#tty taste in people." Tote Bag
"A special thank you to all the people who totally ignored me today." Tote Bag
"There is no need to have a special occasion to eat cake. Cake is a special occasion." Tote Bag
"I'm going to be nice to you but I don't really mean it." Tote Bag
"Like burnt toast I can smell your brain making dumb decisions." Tote Bag
"It's hard being this marvelous and this f#cking humble." Tote Bag
"I just drank a coffee, I should get a coffee." Tote Bag
"This is different, but then again, it's the same." Tote Bag
"It's OK to be ordinary, not for me though, I'm hot..." Tote Bag
"I'm three scoops of crazy on a two scoop cone." Tote Bag
"If your phone doesn't ring, that's me not calling." Tote Bag
"I'm not smart enough to be an intellectual snob, but that doesn't stop me." Tote Bag
"Some people have nothing good to say and they keep saying it." Tote Bag
"You don't have haters, you're just an a##hole." Tote Bag
"You are weird but not in a cool way." Tote Bag
"You can learn a lot if you just STFU, and listen." Tote Bag
"Why do people think the "silent treatment" is punishment?" Tote Bag
"Coffee never ignores me, coffee is my friend." Tote Bag
"Get over yourself, nobody cares enough to hate you." Tote Bag
"I blocked you because I care for you. Believe me it's better this way." Tote Bag
"My special talent is making easy things complicated." Tote Bag
"You are entitled to your incorrect opinion." Tote Bag
"There is a fine line between badass and dumbass." Tote Bag
"I am not clueless, I have chosen to be oblivious." Tote Bag
"The internet is trash, and I am a raccoon." Tote Bag
"I am complicated, uncomplicated person." Tote Bag
"People say I drive them crazy like that is a bad thing." Tote Bag
"Being a nice person doesn't mean taking sh#t." Tote Bag
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"I'm very charming until you get to know me." Tote Bag
"Do things that make you feel free." Tote Bag
"Asking for help is a brave thing, you sissy." Tote Bag
"The way you take yourself so seriously is very funny." Tote Bag
"I often cause people to curse." Tote Bag
"I've come to walk the walk, step aside." Tote Bag
"Sometimes when I'm bored I tell people to relax to start an argument." Tote Bag
"Please stop being a psychopath, psychopath." Tote Bag
"Someone out there thinks you are really special. It's not me though." Tote Bag
"Some days I have little interest, other days I have less." Tote Bag
"I'm currently under construction, thank you for your patience." Tote Bag
"Sarcasm is wasted on the dumb." Tote Bag
"You should smile more and so something about your wardrobe too." Tote Bag
"Sometimes when I am in bed all day, and I need a change of scenery, I roll over." Tote Bag
"My taste buds violently reject any food that has health benefits." Tote Bag
"The problem with being very observant is that you are very observant." Tote Bag
"Sometimes you just have to drink 12 cups of coffee and hope for the best." Tote Bag
"If only more people understood that they don't understand." Tote Bag
"I'm popular online but everyone hates me in real life." Tote Bag
"Goodness begins with wearing deodorant." Tote Bag
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"Nature is My Medicine" Women's Tri-Blend T-Shirt
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"Proluo Prolu Prolutum" Men's Hoodie
"Guidance" Men's Hoodie
"Bless"
"Harmony"
"Insight"
"Happy" 631 Art Baby T-shirt
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"Star Power" AirPod Case
"so-phis-ti-cat-ed" AirPod Case
"Kool Kat" AirPod Case
"Plumber Kat"
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